Learn Some Stuff

Let me tell you a short story of last year:

I moved into an appartment with 3 other girls, one who was from Ghana (Africa).

I was looking through Facebook pictures when I realized that they were wearing jeans, there were big houses there, and I didn't see one wild animal anywhere.

I soon found out that Ghana wasw just as up-to-date as Canada, if not more so. What an amazing country.

So if you are one of those people who still picture Ghana, or the whole of Africa like you see on the Lion King, why don't you take a look at my friend's blogspot. (Hot guy pictures are a bonus)

http://coffieblog.blogspot.com/

He Needs Your Too

May all your dreams come true
As guardian angels watch over you,
And guide you every step of the way
In your journeys day to day.

May God keep you in his care
As you worship and send him prayer,
For we need Him to show us what to do
But don’t forget God needs you too.

So thank God for all He gave
And the sacrifice of His son to save,
Be a sheep for the Lord to guide
As blessings fall on those still tied.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me, all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of foortprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

John 3:16

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold.

The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you ? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in."

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.

He looked up and said, "John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son."

She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.

The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16 ...I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry ? "

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food," The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more.

Then he thought to himself: John 3:16 ...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while.

As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16 ... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights.

As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16 ...I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food.

After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you understand John 3:16 ? " she asked gently.

He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it,"

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus . Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus.

He sat there and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe. You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing.

I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die.

I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living..

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Three Women

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.
THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKEDAT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER, SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALMTO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED,SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE, I HAVE AMICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HADTO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA ANDWENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGINGFROM HER REAR END.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLD ER WOMANFINALLY SAID..................." WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT.....I'M GETTINGA FAX!!"

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time,

A guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said:"NO!"

And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, neverwatched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulousin sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The End

The Goodbye Letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad! She's pregnant! Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son,

David

P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home."